i'm beyond excited to move, get out of my shithole of an apartment that's infested with spiders and constantly invaded by ants. sick. don't get me wrong, moving out is going to be a bittersweet experience, for sure. but i'm hoping that i will be more focused on my goals, etc. i think i'm going to get a laptop this weekend when i go to oregon with whit. my parents are putting $500 towards it so it won't be a problem, and michaela's letting me have her copy of the suites [well, letting my copy them] for FREE.
it's hard for me to realize how blessed i am sometimes. well, more so easy to forget than hard to realize. but seriously, i remember in high school i used to bitch and complain how strict my parents were, which yes was suffocating and drove me absolutely crazy-insane, and i rebelled enough for my entire family tree combined. yes, my family is that conservative, but i think it took being raised at one extreme for me to find me. i didn't rebel hardcore or completely fuck my life up, i just arrived at different conclusions than everyone expected. i was reading my mom's blog, a woman who is so well-grounded and ultimately one of the most hilarious people you'll ever meet, and it's interesting to hear about the things going on when we hardly ever talk unless something needs to be talked about. i need to work on my temper. my fuse has gotten shorter and shorter, and i truly sympathize for anyone happen to be holding a conversation [aka, the ticking time bomb that is me] when the fuse runs out.
i just need to not take things for granted. i seem to do that more often than not, and then freak out when my equilibrium is thrown off, even slightly. i am addicted to chaos it seems, which naturally contradicts my obsessive goal-oriented tendencies. way to be unconventional amy, way to be. i never would have predicted that i would be saying this now, but i am so so grateful to have grown up in a "frugal" lifestyle. we ordered from the dollar menu when we went out to eat, once a month or so. we had hand-me-downs, and not only within the family but from our babysitters. it has seriously made me so aware of other people's financial situations, and just more sensitive to other people in general and being able to read their comfort levels. then i can swoop in, interject, and make their day. ;D
back to my blessings, besides the fact that i don't have a career job at the moment, i can't really complain except that i'm not independently wealthy... i kid, i kid. but seriously, i just got approved for a new apartment with a rad view of the sound, i get to go home for the 4th and spend some much needed time with the fam and whitney- probably half and half. i'm going to get a laptop while i'm down there, tax free of course, and getting the adobe creative suites for free! i need something to save up for next... i always need goals otherwise i'll blow my money on food and drinks. i do that anyway, but that's besides the point.
i've decided i'm going to decorate my bedroom, once we move in, with typography. i know, how much more of a nerd can i possibly be. i'm going to depend on my knack to get furniture for free to furnish the entire apartment, and i want to buy more things that i'll keep with me as i move: kitchen stuff, sweet pieces of art that i've made or am just obsessed with, lots of nike, random furniture, odds and ends that are "really me", you know the drill. anyway, i genuinely hope that i don't completely drop every friendship that i developed in college, that at least 5 weren't convenience friendships. my mom is still best friends with her best friends from college, i call them my aunts. they were both there when i was born. that is something i can only hope and pray for.
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